it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
