you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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