tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I wear drunk well.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize