i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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