): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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