O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
