I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
They have beer where we have blood.
you made out with another girl for some wings
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
