Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
