Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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