there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize