Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
