Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
