Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
