you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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