standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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