If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
