don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
