I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize