Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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