It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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