If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
