Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
