omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
