for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
