I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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