I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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