Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Michael Bay diarrhea
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
