OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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