i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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