Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
