ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
