I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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