guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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