I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
