If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
there's paper in my vomit.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
