He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize