dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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