Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just sent this text using only my big toe
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
