i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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