apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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