Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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