I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
