So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
