its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
