She said her name was "party"
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
