do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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