not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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