So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Randomize
