I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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