I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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