Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize