tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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