The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
