And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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