Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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