Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
