Got a toothbrush?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
