If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
