This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
