You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
