He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
third nipple confirmed
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
