2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
