Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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