did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Boobs are out for the taking
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
