nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
