I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
