this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
