This girl is more easily done than said...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
