He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
