Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize