have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
