I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
