i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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