im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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