What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
