Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
